Ladies, if there is one thing I know for sure it's the fact that we are going about this dating thing all wrong. I'm serious. I'm pretty sure I might piss some people off with this one, but this is something that I've wanted to talk about for the longest time. Women have absolutely no clue how to date. This is one area that I can honestly say men do better then women. Men absolutely understand the concept of dating.
When it comes to the art of courtship, there are three stages. The stages are as follows: 1. Dating 2. Courting 3. Marriage
Here is how I define the stages:
Dating is that introductory stage where you are getting to know a person and trying to see whether or not the two of you are compatible enough to take it to the next level. You can do this with multiple people until you find a match. You know like Goldilocks. Consider this the 'Goldilocks Stage'. This is your chance to find that person that's 'Just Right'.
Courting on the otherhand is more serious. This is the point in which you have entered into a relationship with a person. This is the stage where monogamy should first be introduce. Courting is where you decide if marriage or some other strong commitment is a possibility.
Marriage ummm...seriously if you need a definition for this then you are most certainly in trouble.
Women, we have a problem with stage 1. We have a tendency to skip that stage altogether and go directly to stage 2. Instead of shopping around and getting to know people, we stop at the first man we meet and totally commit ourselves to him because we went out on a date with him maybe once or twice. Please don't act like I don't know what I'm talking about because you know I'm telling the truth. I'm just as guilty of this as you are.
You see, the world of dating is a scary thing to a lot of us and we act accordingly. This is the reason we try to stay out of it as much as possible instead of embracing the possibilities of dating. We'll rather take ourselves off the market then allow someone else to do it.
He's just dating you, but yet you're telling everybody he's your boyfriend. Sounds familiar? We do this all the time. He's seeing you as an option, but yet you are treating him as though he is a necessity.
Women, we have to learn how to date. There is nothing wrong with dating more than one man at a time. I know some women are just happy to have one man to date so the idea of dating multiples is a very foreign concept, but trust me you have to give it a try. It does not make you a slut to date more than one man. You have to let go of that conventional thinking and get your Grown Woman on. That is the whole point of dating.
Dating is about getting to know people and determining whether or not the two of you are compatible. It's about having fun without the pressure of a relationship. Listen, I've found the more men I've dated at one time the less likely I felt pressure to have sex with any of them because I had options. I'm not saying you should be juggling ten men, but I do think three is a good comfortable number (at least for me anyway).
We have to stop going from relationship to relationship and embrace the idea of being women who have options if we are willing to seek them out. We have to take back some of her power as women and once again feel empowered about the dating scene. Go and get your 'Dance Card' filled and once that one is filled just get you another one. Stop allowing society to make rules for you and make your own rules.
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